Bournemouth I shall miss you, you were pretty in the sunshine and at night and you may well have saved my life, but we can’t stay together forever and come the winter we shall be arguing again. Besides I need a new muse. London! It’s a nice day for a white wedding!
I thought you’re supposed to gain weight when you quit using opiates? Why have I lost a whole stone in 6 months? Oh, yeah. Throwing up my own blood in A&E a few months ago may have had something to do with it, that was a fun weekend! The piece below is, of course, by Thom Yorke, I recently rediscovered Radiohead’s OK Computer. Holy shit it’s flawless and track 4 still makes my cry! Track 7 goes like this though…
Fitter Happier
more productive
comfortable
not drinking too much
regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week)
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries
at ease
eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats)
a patient better driver
a safer car (baby smiling in back seat)
sleeping well (no bad dreams)
no paranoia
careful to all animals (never washing spiders down the plughole)
keep in contact with old friends (enjoy a drink now and then)
will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in wall)
favours for favours
fond but not in love
charity standing orders
on sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants)
car wash (also on sundays)
no longer afraid of the dark
or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate
nothing so childish
at a better pace
slower and more calculated
no chance of escape
now self-employed
concerned (but powerless)
an empowered and informed member of society (pragmatism not idealism)
will not cry in public
less chance of illness
tires that grip in the wet (shot of baby strapped in back seat)
a good memory
still cries at a good film
still kisses with saliva
no longer empty and frantic
like a cat
tied to a stick
that’s driven into
frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness)
calm
fitter, healthier and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics
Well, lets just say I’m working on the above! And add the word Indestructible to the end.
The things I want to post here don’t go down too well in offices! So I’m building a new portfolio here..http://www.krop.com/simonmarlow
Watch the sky! Keep looking!
* I was advised by a person who I very much respect to never blog this story. The thing is, it’s true and truth is beauty. I don’t live my life like this anymore but five years back here’s how it went. I’m not posting this to appear enigmatic, rock and roll or anything else. I just have blood in my veins, like you…
So this is what it’s like..
I wake up 7.00am maybe 8.00 I know I have to be at the office by 9.30. I also know I’ll saunter in at 10.15ish – high.
So I wake up, I’m sweating, I ache, I feel like throwing up but flu it ‘aint..I am junk sick. This is how I wake up every morning…and I don’t care!
So I have breakfast, I think that worked out as 80mg of Valium, 20mg of Morphine and a gram of dihydrocodeine.Then some Frosties…Greeeaat! To the pharmaceutically uninitiated amongst you…this dosage of narcotics could probably kill you and your mates in about 15 minutes.
To me this is just another dollar another day. So I’m sitting in my tiny Notting Hill home watching a girl I love sleep. She has the day off so I don’t wake her. We met 4 months ago and moved in together 2 months later…I do things like that. I’m not sure she really loves me, or if I truly love her, how can you tell? How do YOU tell? Regardless, she was my best friend.
Mariko is an exquisite, tall Japanese goddess and a lovely person. Always immaculate, if she was up now she would be exercising…I’m smacked out on opiates staring at the floor, wondering why my heart is so deeply fucked up.
At about 9.30am I stub out my cigarette and walk to Notting Hill tube..it’s rammed with the suited and booted scurrying along in the desperate pursuit of dishwashers, BMW’s, bigger houses. You know “REAL LIFE!”
Pupils pinned and sated by the warm glow of artificial endorphins, I just stroll through them all…arrogant.
I know one day I can snap my fingers and diamonds will fall into my lap (told you I was high!), besides I’ve got a proper job too!
I’m a designer at one of London’s coolest agencies! I get paid to sit in an office allday with nice people making things look pretty.
That evening I have free tickets to the premier of This is England, I’m gonna hang out with Shane Meadows who I’ve yet to meet but truly believe is one of the UK’s best directors, not to mention the girl I’ve left behind in our new home 2 minutes walk from Kensington palace. I feel like a Tiger. I could eat these commuters for breakfast..except for this something, something inside of me. Something black which needs to come out and it is destroying me…
I never make the premier. Instead I nearly die from a drugs overdose and break my best friends heart. Smart move eh???
Not to be continued….
Pure genius…I like to think I’m good at art sometimes, Vania kicks my ass every single time! Click for the full gallery on Vectrowave.
So here is a pretty picture to keep you going. It’s Mariko Yuzaki a truly lovely human who stuck by me through MANY issues. Simon photo-shopped it to death. Didn’t seem correct to just post pictures of my ex in a bikini. Marichan…Domo Arigtou. You were my best friend!
They’re just like a repetitive drum beat punctuating my life! What’s so complicated? It shouldn’t be like this…I thought affection was a good thing? I feel like Rocky after 9 rounds with Apollo Creed. Nothing! Despite the blood.
Was considering deleting negative and personal posts….but it’s just me and she never actually slapped me! This is metaphorical, take from it what you like!
Killinochchi – back in the day. So, I’d get up early and listen to the insane sound of dawn in The Wanni. Cockerels, insects, goats, all kick off with the kind of gusto normally reserved for a World Cup final. A cold shower, is mandatory, there’s no hot water anywhere this far north after 30 years of civil war – though to be honest I find the Tigers much more courteous to deal with than Thames Water. I guess Thames water employees don’t often go into battle wearing cyanide capsules round their necks, that kind of thing inspires motivation and gives you a new perspective on customer service!
In the month of June Simon neglected several things. They included: his manners, his pledge to smoke less, his pledge to drink less, his pledge to save the world and his blog!
Neglect is addictive and alluring for certain people, there’s something cosy about the feeling you get when you give up…only problem is, that’s just self loathing…made manifest…fucking with you! It’s fun to dress up skeletons like ballerinas and the devil knows this. He does it every day.
Another thing – WordPress, please stop fucking with my CSS. I don’t like it.
Woah…I didn’t post anything last week as it all got a bit “Guns and Ammo” and I didn’t really know how to follow it…Well here’s how: When you’re in Rome, if you’re a guy and girl, you will be constantly hassled by Asian guys trying to sell you a Rose for your sweetheart…In this case, my sister!
After our Bloody Marys had been interrupted for the 15th time we decided to take action: Marlow stylee…Roses aren’t poisonous are they? Jo!! Roses aren’t poisonous are they??? Hmmm…come to think of it I haven’t heard from her in a while……….
Anyway, right, so when you tell people you are going to Sri Lanka, and you’re going to be making a film about, and with, an organisation that has been proscribed as Terrorists in over 50 countries or as one of the World’s leading proponent of suicide bombings, AND you’ve never made a film before, they kind of go……”hmmmmmm? Are you sure Si? Coz you know making a film is difficult and why would you want to go hang out with crazy suicide bombers, aren’t the Tamil Tigers those guys who wear cyanide capsules round their necks and murder their political rivals (even other Tamils)?”
“Yeah that’s them” I reply “They sound fascinating don’t they?”
Evening, just knocked up this bunch of stylin’ new tees for the fellas…any of you media/fashion types interested in taking them off my hands? No! Well screw you, I like them… x
More scary Sri Lankan stuff on it’s way…be warned!
This month marks the 2nd year anniversary of the heroic “liberation” of the Tamil people of Wanni from the clutches of the evil LTTE by the heroic Sri Lankan Military. Plus, they didn’t cause one single civilian casualty (hmmmm?). Now these smiling, healthy Tamils you see below are all happily re-homed in internment camps or their obliterated villages..but it’s ok, the GoSL gave them £100 each, some corrugated iron and a bag of rice…you know, cos they’d caused a “little-bit-of-a-mess”. God Bless you Mahinda Rajapaksa…you massive cunt! Anyway here’s how he did it…and NO they’re not dead, they’re sunbathing! Right Mahinda???
Why do I do so many stupid things? Because I hurt inside.
Miss ???? (Ciao Bella!) This post is just for you.
Faith No More’s version of “Easy” is SO better than Lionel’s (Sorry Lionel, you’re great too). BUT Mike Patton is the best vocalist on the planet. Why? His vocal range is COMPLETE, he can out croon Lionel, out metal Slayer, make Fred Durst look like…er actually that’s no competition is it? Plus he once dumped a bucket of piss on Axl Rose!
Anyone who still doesn’t believe me? Then here are two (short) playlists for you… And Miss ???? if you’re still reading, and not rolling your eyes, maybe you can translate the Mondo Cane concert lyrics for me – one day! Grazie! Oh yeah he’s also multi-linguistic too, did I forget that?
Edit: Names have been omitted in this post to protect the innocent / beautiful !
FAITH NO MORE 2.0 (At Area 4) & MONDO CANE (Holland)
From the moment they formed..right up to the point of sacking Steven Adler (for being a junky?????) Guns ‘n’ Roses were, for a few short years the best rock ‘n roll band on the planet..and the last. Kurt Cobain may have killed them and by that time they deserved it .. they’d become bloated, Led Zep, Wannabes by the time I got to see them in ’92 (still pretty cool though).. but during the run up to Appetite for Destruction (Geffen) these were hungry motherfuckers who earned every penny us shmucks threw at them…oooh they’re just misogynistic, 80′s cock rock you whinge…swallow it! Nothing wrong with the 80′s, rock..or cock..that’s what makes us human…Misogyny is of course a bad thing (duh!)
“Any professional creatives with an interest in writing including artists, designers and performers are encouraged to attend”
I will be posting a lot of content related to the civil war in Sri Lanka this month as it is nearly 2 years since the heroic Sinhalese Army crushed the vastly outnumbered LTTE, without causing a single civilian casualty (?) thus ridding the country of terror(ism) and now all the Sri Lankan Tamils are living “Happily Ever After”…hmmmm?
But first, an upbeat take on the situation:
Mathangi Arulpragasam, மாதங்கி ‘மாயா’ அருள்பிரகாசம் or M.I.A to you is probably the best pop star of the last decade..Pop you say, she’s underground isn’t she? Fuck you, M.I.A is pop..better than that she is Pop Art. She is what Pop used to be (Bowie, Sex Pistols etc) and should be again. Just look at her, she can make Lady Gaga look like a wannabe just by walking into a room and blowing her nose! She is punk, playful, commercial, unique and beautiful but more than that her songs have real meaning. As a refugee from the war herself and daughter of a prominent Tamil activist she weaves her personal politics into her songs, effortlessly and never rams them down your throat. Most people won’t notice the Female Cadre uniforms in the Sunshowers video, or get the “We’re armed and we’re equal, more fun for the people” reference in Bucky Done Gun. That’s fine just listen to Paper Planes..it’s a great track. Maya’s own response to the events of 2 years ago Born Free was a snarling beast of a video which she then followed up with the very underrated XXXO.. If by now you don’t get it, well tough! Just look at the pictures.
Then.. THESE videos (20/03/09) (caution advsied)
Edmond Kurkjian is a songwriter/producer from Brighton, currently making a very personal 80′s/Electro/Synth/Doom-Pop (I could go on) record about losing his friend to the evils of drug abuse. Something I can relate to, luckily for me though I came through it unscathed and now have the fortune to be directing his next music video. So, I thought I’d share this work in progress with you. Listen to Edmond’s music here… Kurkjian
I’ve often thought Mark Kermode is the country’s best film critic. Not only is he a Doctor of Horror (yes he has a bona-fide PHD), and thinks The Exorcist is the best film ever made (It’s not – but it’s damn close)..he was also ejected out of a Cannes screening of Lars Von Trier’s “The Idiots” for screaming out, halfway through, in exclamation of how bad it was (and he’s 100% on the money there, it’s terrible!) He even had the style to do it in bad french! So if you’re with me on this get involved in his latest project…As Independent artists we don’t need permission to take Cinema back from the money men… just do it. It’s yours!
As the previous post was a little depressing to say the least here’s something inspiring for you. I’m currently working on this series of artwork inspired by Nikki Giovanni’s amazing poem Ego Tripping.. you can hear it right here
In 2006 I was in Sri Lanka, I’d gone there with a Tamil family and we’d travelled north into Tiger country. Back then the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam still controlled the majority of the north. We were there to research a documentary film that we had some TV interest for.
So there I am chilling with the Tigers and that! I’m thinking “check me out” I’m not afraid to come hang out with the LTTE! That Sinhalese tourist advice lady told me, about the Tigers, “They will kidnap you..and then kill you!” That’s verbatim, I was secretly video taping her. So there I am just having a nice glass of lime juice with them..and you can say what you like about the LTTE, they used to make a cracking glass of fresh lime juice! Hey?
See, that’s how my brain works I’ll make childish and opportune gags even during a story like this…is that wrong?
I don’t know? Let’s ask Selvan Anna.
So a few days later I meet Selvan (Anna is Tamil for brother and everyone uses it to address male cadres as a matter of respect). Selvan is a Tamil Tiger Cadre and a few years back he encountered a Sri Lankan military squadron. They killed all of his fellow fighters then went to execute him.
They shot him at point-blank range in the side of the skull.
Selvan moves back slightly at that exact same second.
The bullet doesn’t kill him, instead the force it creates takes out both of his eyes.
So they leave him there..blind. In a pile of bodies.
Two months later Selvan is finally reunited with his family in his village. He’s scared to meet his mother again as he knows how sad she’ll be. His eyes are healing now but he’s still a bloody mess and being blind isn’t easy either.
When Selvan is reunited with his mum, the shock kills her. She literally has a heart attack and dies before his..well you know.
So I spend the morning with Selvan, he speaks quite good English, and he’s so happy that someone (a white guy basically) is actually showing an interest in his life. He’s showing me his photo albums which he can navigate by touch these days, there’s some of his family but they are mostly of his fellow cadres. There’s even one of him with Prabhakaran, The late LTTE leader and at the time still India’s most wanted man for the (frankly ridiculous) assassination of Rajiv Ghandi by suicide bomber. Selvan lives with the Tigers now, he has no real family anymore, and they wheel him out for passing journalists to generate sympathy for their cause. I’m not stupid. Or a journalist!
But, you know what, he deserves our sympathy. It’s easy for us to read the papers and judge these people and use words like “barbaric” and “so uncivilised”! But what would you be doing in their shoes? Christ, in London people have been shot over parking spaces! Violence breeds violence, and hate and anger. It would in me.. for sure.
Selvan seems different though, I don’t spend enough time with him to see how long it lasts but while we are together he is happy and upbeat, and laughing all the time. Always shaking my hand or grabbing my arm and being thoroughly alive and kicking. Later he plays the drums for us, and let’s be honest he’s no John Bonham or Dave Grohl, but for a blind guy with very little else in his life – this guy fuckin’ rocks. I wish I had a guitar with me.
So if you’re ever worried about cracking a joke, think it’s out-of-place or even a bit rude just do what Selvan does and just blurt it out, so long as you mean no disrespect then at least you’re trying right?
I have no idea where Selvan is now, there is every chance he is imprisoned by the GoSL, or in a mass grave having monuments and car parks hastily built over him so when the U.N resolution for a War Crimes probe into both GoSL and LTTE kicks in nobody will find his, and thousands of other bodies!
Wherever he is I know.. he’ll be kicking ass!
P.S I have some video of Selvan playing his drums, but as he’ll never see it, you’ll just have to imagine (for now!).
Seeing as Jo now works in Borneo as a diving Instructor (Jammy Bitch!) it’s good to catch up once a year if we can..and as she blasted pass the big 30 the other day, with all the grace of a roller skating tiger I might add, we thought it would be lovely to enjoy a day or two in Rome with our Ma and Pa!
The big day itself was spread out between The Colosseum (Where they used to murder people for spectacle and fun), Profondo Rosso (Dario Argento’s famous horror shop..where they murder people for spectacle and fun) and a rock club called Black-Out (Where we murdered ourselves for spectacle and fun).
They know how to pour a Jagermeister in Roma!
This site is currently being updated / re-created. If there seems to be content missing…it’s because there is!
In my book anyone who can make a name for themselves by putting a toaster on their head is a God who walks among us so I give you the one and only Toastgirl! For one night only, straight from Tokyo…
No matter what name she goes under, Toastie, Baguette Bardot or Isabella Toastita it’s people like her who make it worth getting out of bed in the morning!
And hopefully, we’ll get to work together soon..shhh, I’ve said too much!
Toastie has appeared on Japanorama with Jonathan Ross! (Edit: Toastie asked me to remove this link, so I did, she is a god afterall..but search YT..it’s genius. Shhhhh!)
Baguette Bardot - Album - Chanson Populaire (feat. Toastgirl)
It’s been a while, how the devil are you?
Illustrations for House of Diehl feature for Blowback magazine…Check em oot… http://www.houseofdiehl.com/cgi/store/checkout.pl
These were the first film projects that I got to direct with an actual cast and crew. We shot it on RED. It was made with Kash in London. Produced by Si A and Phil Good. Cinematography by Phil… er something. Someone remind me cause he was good, as you can see…
http://shootingpeople.org/watch/film.php?film_id=80711
You can watch all three videos on Shooting People, personally i think some of the edits look a bit baggy 2 years down the line, but not bad for a first bash…and it was fun!
Sample Magic produce a range of books and audio sample collections teaching music producers how to twiddle knobs and stuff. When I was a lad you had to work all this out on your own or, heaven forbid, learn how to play the guitar! Call me Grandpa…
Anyway, I recently illustrated this series of books for them.. cue Da Vinci; Oooh when I was a lad you actually had to learn to paint etc. etc. Shut up Grandpa!!
Cameras used to have film in? Now, I love digital photography especially when it comes to moving images. Without this technology being an aspiring director of independent film would be impossible for me personally. It’s just too expensive, and I’m not the kind of person who can make compromises when it comes to my artistic visions. That’s why I’ve spent the last ten years (since we took these pics) struggling..and it’s also why things are now gradually changing for me.
Anyway, I digress, I just came across this collection of pics an old girlfriend and I took during our year in Asia, back in 2002 when I was just a nipper (well 22, but seeing as I still feel 18 it seems like 50 years ago!) And check out how beautiful real film looks after you’ve spent the last five years staring at digital!!! Maybe I’m a celluloid snob in the making!
Now, anyone got a $15 million budget for my next feature film? If you’ve got the money I’ve got the looks..cheques in the post please.
You Are Wolf is Kerry Andrew’s haunting folk and electro spook project. Do you like Bjork? Then like this! I designed her first album cover (below) and the logo for her band Juice. Photography by Dannie Price.
And one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you! Welcome, your pretty face is going to hell!
